hi, it's me. the coward.

"how are you?" this question keeps lingering in my mind for as long as i remember. 
always wondering how you were doing but never, ever took the initiative to reach out. 
though assuming from the limits of what i saw and witness, you're doing just fine. just fine. 
why am i so worried? who am i to be worried? 

the height of my ego is really tall isn't it? it's so damn tall even i am frustrated towards it. 
tell me, what should i do? you've always known and listened to my frustrations. 
will you tell me? 

forget about me. today is all about you. 
you. 
a divine human being with a lovely soul, yet misunderstood. 
a selfless, kind-hearted, bright souled person, yet took for granted. 
a person that means the world to me, yet i never have the right way to show it. 

but it's okay, without me, you're still a selfless, kind hearted, bright souled, divine human being with a lovely soul that i've always known. however could i be so foolish to look at the downsides rather than the million things you've done for me and with me? 

may today be another day full of happiness, joy and warmth from the people that you love. may today be kind to you as you are to the people that you love. may the people around you always look at you lovingly and treat you with utmost care. for everything you've been through and for everything you had to face, you deserve all the kindness, more than this world can even offer. thank you for being one of the most important part of my life, for being the most important person in my life, to this day.

so much more to say yet it will take hours to convey. 
so much more to say yet i will make a fool of myself.
so i will just simply say, 
happy birthday, i love you for who you are and i love you for Him 
and from the bottom of my heart, i am sorry.