words or actions?
which do you think hurts more?

a dear friend (and a kakak) of mine posted a poll on this question and it hit me that I've never thought about it so after seeing this question, I thought and thought to myself about it and couldn't come up with an answer, so I asked her if I could post the same question on my Instagram story. (she's one of the few people I love discussing in depth about things like this which means a lot to me and she's very very important to me 😌)

I've gotten a few dms from people telling me about their opinions and I also discussed about it with my sister and my mum.

and I tried to gather what people have told me and I think I've got an answer for it. I think...
well, here is my opinion;

to me, I think words hurt more. at first, I thought both of them equally hurt, depending on the situation.

but think about it, people tend to believe words a lot. we can't deny that hope and wishes are made through other people's words. even if you're not the type to believe in people's words that much, you have to admit that you lowkey put hope in it. so to me, it's words that are giving hope to people in the first place and when their actions contradicts with their words, thus it will hurt FROM THE RESULT of THEM putting hope in WORDS in the first place.

another example that I can give that made me believe that words hurt more than actions is for instance, a person is really really angry thus they will use curse words and shout and insult etc etc... do they mean all these things they said? maybe. maybe not.

you see, I believe that people can fake words and sometimes they will say something that they don't mean and it will make other people hurt when they know the truth because they have put hope and put their trust in it. meanwhile people don't usually fake their actions and an action shows so much about a person's personality, habits etc so people are usually honest with their actions so it hurts less to know the truth from their actions rather than a lie from sweet words. (this is what I think, idk man)

so in conclusion, I believe words hurt more than actions. at least up to this point, I believe so.

so what can we take away from this discussion? from this answer?

well, first of all, always mean what you say.
don't lie to yourself and don't lie to other people either. when you compliment something or someone, always pour your heart out with it. mean it. mean it wholeheartedly. when you say I love you, always mean it. don't say it out of habit or say it just because you feel bad. mean what you say. put your whole damn heart in everything you say.

second of all, when you make promises, try your utmost best to fulfill it. no matter what. you have given hope and trust to them by promising them something so fulfill it and if you can't, no matter how much you've tried to do so, don't leave them hanging. tell them nicely.

third, use kind words, always. avoid yourself from cursing. always say nice things to people, no matter who it is. tell them to 'have a nice day!' or compliment their cute hat or tell them their new hairstyle looks great. kind words mean a lot to people even if it seems trivial, but it does. even if you're fighting or in bad terms, use kind words when negotiating. don't throw curse words or harsh sentences at them. be kind, always.

other than all of these, we musn't put our hopes and trust too much in other people's words. be moderate with our feelings and know that they are human, sometimes they dont mean the words they say and sometimes they wont fulfill what they say they're going to do. so in order to avoid yourself from getting hurt too much, always put this in your mindset, but dont despise them.

but even so, always be mindful and be careful of what you say.
words are like daggers; piercing.